Why Bottoms Are Soo Last Year

Remember last year’s Met Ball when all the pretty people (apart from Rihanna who came as a giant omelette) showed up wearing as little as possible? https://aftercarrie.wordpress.com/2015/05/06/fashions-oscars-hit-a-bum-note/

Gigi Hadid and Zayn Malik

Gigi Hadid and Zayn Malik

This year I sat in front of my computer and looked at the coverage through my fingers, fearing where a person (JLo/Kim Kardashian/Beyonce) might have left to go, sartorially speaking, as a follow up to juicy exposed buttocks. But I needn’t have worried because those clever folk who organise the Met Ball had gone and pulled a blinder with this year’s theme which was “Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology”.

Stumped? I was too which is bad because my friend’s husband won the Oscar for special effects for the film to which it refers – Ex Machina – in March and yet I still haven’t seen it. I like to imagine the Met Ball committee sat around their conference table, sucking on their pencils (Anna Wintour chairing from behind her dark glasses) wondering how the devil they were going to coax 2015’s big bottoms back into their dresses so that the event was less about them and more about the fashion and oh yes, the fundraising. Then suddenly someone came up with the idea of Technology In Fashion and that was that. HA! See if you can squeeze a bottom out of that theme.

Now this isn’t primary school so the fashion elite didn’t all rock up as robots (although Zayn Malik did appear to have robotic arms, and very uncomfortable he looked too) but there was most definitely a trend. Metallics ruled the day and if you weren’t silver, gold, shimmering or lit up, you were in the wrong place. It was certainly an interesting procession of looks, not my favourite I must admit but then I am cautious around metallic or shiny fabrics because they can be so unflattering and there’s a very thin line between fabulous and foil wrapped chicken.


Silver in particular lends itself nicely to the sporty chic look which is doing the rounds at the moment. But it’s just a flash of silver on the trainer toe or the rucksack, not the whole blinking tracksuit – Jimmy Savile is not someone you want to channel. Equally, a full length gold evening dress will run the risk of screaming Krystle Carrington so restricting metallics to your accessories is far safer.

Firstly though, find out whether gold or silver is best for you, depending on your skin tone, one will be far better than the other. Then invest in one piece to add just a hint of shine.

Sparkling away in the summer sunshine can look amazing – you’ll certainly turn heads – but don’t forget there is no hiding with reflective fabrics which will always emphasise any lumps or bumps underneath. Satin and silk instantly create a lingerie dilemma while sequins and metallics will add pounds for the opposite reason that a dark matt fabric will help melt them away.

So what is the solution? Well shoes and bags are the most obvious way round it and there are heaps in both silver and gold on the high street currently. Otherwise, be sure to only adorn the favourite bits of your anatomy with the shiny stuff rather than those you’d rather hide away. If it helps, I hear anklets are back in for the summer…


My first book ‘Shopped’ published by September Publishing is available to pre-order for £8.99 on Amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Shopped-Emily-Stott/dp/1910463302


About aftercarrie

I help people refine their wardrobe to suit their shape, colouring and lifestyle. I am a style consultant, personal shopper and colour analyst working in London. Be the loveliest possible you. My first book SHOPPED was released on 5th July 2016 (September Publishing). www.emilystott.net
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