Cold Snap, Crackle, and Colour Pops

Street Style at the Paris shows

Street Style at the Paris shows

The other morning when my five year old son woke up, he looked me up and down, smirked and said, “That’s a funny outfit.” Yes, he’s five and yes, he is still quite happy for me to dress him however I see fit but usually if he passes comment on what I’m wearing, it’s something sweet. On this occasion, despite the 6.30am gloom and the two of us being the only people present, I suddenly felt rather self conscious. And not in the way that I did a few weeks ago when I made the mistake of asking my boyfriend if he liked my new hat and he replied, “You look like Dr.Who.”

The annoying thing – especially since I didn’t have the time to change – was that when I had got dressed half an hour earlier, I too had wondered if I really liked the skirt I had fished out of the wardrobe the night before. It’s a very bright yellow, absolutely not my colour but a safe enough distance from my face which is currently sporting its fetching January hue. Everything else I had on was black, which these days is unusual for me but it was the only thing I had which goes with the yellow. I had in fact inadvertently dressed as a giant bumble bee.

Attempting not to appear too bothered, I asked, “Why do you think I look funny?” to which the boy in the rock star pyjamas replied, “Because black and yellow don’t really go together.” I decided to leave it there given yesterday at his Art Club my son came home with a piece of work ‘in the style of Alex Calder’ and I had to Google Alex Calder* to find out who he was.

A Winter pallet…

The thing about small children is, they have a very subjective view on colour and it tends to be that they like anything bright and cheerful and are wary of anything dark and gloomy. My son insists on referring to dark grey and dark blue as black too. This will be why pre-school television programmes and books are generally full of primary colours.

A Spring pallet…

It’s February, the weather is bleak and there is an awful lot of grey and black in the shops, more than usual it seems. So I’ve gone on a colour rampage in a bid to brighten everyone’s day. Here are my top picks of the (mostly) new in pieces in the shops currently. A word to the wise, if you’re an ‘Autumn’ pallet, you’re laughing, for the third year in a row, you’re totally in fashion.

An Autumn pallet…

If you’re a ‘Summer’ pallet you will have to search a bit harder for variation but trust me, you’re probably the most in need so put some energy into it and it’ll transform your February wardrobe!

A Summer pallet…

As for my ‘funny’ yellow skirt, I think we have come to the end of the road. It was nice while it lasted but life is too short to have your sartorial choices questioned before you’ve had your first sip of coffee. Today I am in my blue midi and cream blouse and it seems to have passed the test. The yellow skirt has been told it is going to live in a warmer country where it has much more space to run around. The bag is by the door ready for the H&M recycling bin.

 

*Alex Calder was an American sculptor who often produced figures using wire.

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Put On Your Red Carpet Shoes

If staying off alcohol and implementing a new fitness regime is getting you down this January then spare a thought for those poor souls in sunny California who were nominated for a Golden Globe award. As soon as the Christmas tree was put out to pasture, it was time to start getting ready for the first of the award ceremonies. And let’s not forget there are more to come. The BAFTAs and the Oscars are the big crescendo but before then the stars have to get through the PGAs, the SAGs, the ACEs, the DGAs and the WGAs. I am not joking. You can see how full length dresses, heels and diamonds might lose their novelty after all that.

The Golden Globes coverage always comes at a time when us lesser mortals have hung up our sparkly jumpers and are relying mostly on thick socks and pjs, so far be it from me to criticise the wardrobe choices of the stars. However there are lessons to be learned and it’s a bonus to be able to learn from the mistakes of others don’t you think?

Here are the right and wrong way to do some of the red carpet trends this year:

BLACK

I just don’t like Kirsten Dunst’s dress, she has a great figure and this is doing nothing for it. Meanwhile Dame Helen, who has a similar hourglass figure to Kirsten, looks simply perfect. Booby frocks are all very well but Kirsten’s Valentino one looks like it’s on back to front – and not in a good way. Soz Kirsten.

RUFFLES

I love that ruffles are having a moment and I’m not even averse to a bit of meringue but oh Jane, that wavy top half looks like my mum’s roof. For someone who managed to make leotards and leg warmers look cool and sexy in the ’80s, I’m disappointed in Jane Fonda. Coming up on the inside is Alicia Vikander who looks cute as a button, ruffles an’ all.

BURGUNDY

Right at the start of his career in the sixties, my dad wrote a whole article about the virtues of the colour burgundy. It’s not something I could write much more than a paragraph about and it wouldn’t be my first or even second choice for an evening gown but here we have two actresses in it. While Olivia Wilde’s gown is slinky, shimmering and simply cut, the fabric of Zendaya’s makes her look like a sofa in an Oscar Wilde play. An IKEA sofa would have been less ageing.

CUT-AWAYS

I love Jennifer Lawrence and rarely does she put a foot wrong on the red carpet but this Dior number is not good. It’s unflattering and stiff looking and makes her look a bit square when usually she’s the perfect hourglass. Brie Larson however has pulled out all the stops and the cut-aways on her Calvin Klein number are in just the right place to draw attention to and highlight her amazing abs, rather than distracting from the rest of the look.

FRINGING

I can’t look at Heidi Klum in this dress without feeling a bit itchy. There’s just too much fringing. Fringing, by definition, should be just a fringe. This is actually a hairy dress and it’s completely disguised the incredible Klum body. In complete contrast, Rooney Mara’s flesh coloured dress looks less like Jeremy Corbyn’s beard and more like the most delicate piece of cobweb imaginable – she looks breath taking.

It’s a long haul to the Oscars on February 28th. As you count the days down to the end of dry January, pity those nominees who will have a further month of working out, facials, fasting and depilating. Suddenly Blue Monday doesn’t seem so bad.

 

 

 

 

 

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The Sales: How Low Can You Go?

Happy New Year! How was it? Did you get what you wanted? Or have you had to take an extra day off work to stand in a snaking Zara queue made up of disgruntled shoppers wanting to exchange unwanted gifts? I’ve backed out of my local Zara branch twice already this sale period, at the sight of the endless queue. I’m not sure how they manage it, but the misery on the faces of the staff behind the counter suggests they’re not very happy about it either. I blame the staples; they’re very preoccupied with stapling receipts in Zara and I’m not sure why.

It’s tempting to go home and simply browse the January sales online, particularly when you have a small child who likes to get into shop window displays and hide in amongst the hanging rails. But online shopping isn’t half the fun that doing battle on the high street can be – pressing the return button on your laptop doesn’t come close to the thrill of handing your credit card over and carrying your purchases home in errm, a grubby old fabric bag you got free with a summer magazine.*

So how to approach the sales? Early in the morning obviously, and in comfortable shoes and good underwear. Regular breaks for refreshment are a must but the most important thing is to remain focused (easier said than done I know. I am always, ALWAYS distracted by sparkly shoes and piles of DVDs) so you don’t waste time. When I finally braved the Zara sale with veteran shopping friend Clare this week, we both went into the fitting rooms with seven items. I’d picked out a jumpsuit so unflattering, even a plumber wouldn’t have touched it, a cream blouse which would have been ideal if I was about to be led from the tower and beheaded. I also had a skater skirt fit for a seven year old, just because well, it was reduced to £12. Everything Clare tried on she admitted she had at least five versions of at home, before pronouncing it potentially “really useful”. She’s a bad influence, is Clare, but it was her birthday and I didn’t like to spoil her fun. She had set me straight right at the outset when I almost ruined our spree by declaring “but I really don’t need it…”. With a curt “I don’t think it’s really about NEEDING things at this point though, is it?” I was reminded that we were there to have fun, not to actually achieve anything.

So no Clare’s right (dammit), rarely do we need anything right after the excesses of Christmas (except maybe a revised fitness plan), but discounts do funny things to people so let’s just have some restraint and allow for some rules. Rules are good, People! Humans need boundaries. Here are some:

Although it’s getting colder and it’s a long way off, you need to Think Spring. There are always some trends that continue on into the next season, some that even survive from the previous Spring and inevitably those that don’t. I find ‘70% off’ signage irresistible too but seriously, count to ten before you hand over the readies for anything with the face of a mammal on it. Also, you know how you get a lump in your throat when you see Christmas trees stripped of their finery and left for dead in the gutter, post-New Year? Well, I’m a bit the same when it comes to piles of un-sellable clothes – I feel sorry for them and want to offer them a home. DON’T DO IT! The people at Brandalley and/or TK Maxx will be very kind to them and they’ll get to mix with all sorts of interesting clothes from all over the world. It’s not your job to give a home to all the ill advised fashion trends out there.

I digress. If you spot any of the following trends on the sale rail, sharpen your elbows:

The long coat.

Cardigan coat down from £265 to £160 at Reiss

Cardigan coat down from £265 to £160 at Reiss

Always worth investing in a classic coat, in this country it’s a no-brainer. I’ve hardly worn a coat yet this season but you know it will happen eventually. This coat/cardigan hybrid is lightweight yet still cosy.

Gingham.

Checked dress down from £195 to £80 at Reiss

Checked dress down from £195 to £80 at Reiss

Started to appear last summer and was a big presence at the Spring Summer 2016 shows. It’s cute and fresh and looks great with denim obviously. Probably best to avoid cowboy boots with this unless you want to look like Doris Day in Calamity Jane. Strangely, this was exactly my mum’s justification for a new pair of Hollister trousers this week.

Suede (it just won’t go away will it?)

Suede bag down from £49.99 to £29.99 at Zara

Suede bag down from £49.99 to £29.99 at Zara

I’ve picked out a brightly coloured clutch as I’m bored of the suede skirts. It’s still impractical but it’s also a great all year round fabric and this colour is gorgeous. Suede is as useful as denim, only much more expensive to get ice-cream out of.

The midi or maxi skirt.

Maxi skirt down from £199 to £75 at Karen Millen

Maxi skirt down from £199 to £75 at Karen Millen

A longer skirt in a lighter fabric will serve you well as we approach spring. Dress down with a leather jacket now and then a denim jacket later. Heels only with the midi length please. Pleats look lovely on straight up and down shapes, not so lovely with curves – go for a smooth line skirt instead.

The shoulder baring dress.

Silk dress down from £110 to £54.99 at Banana Republic

Silk dress down from £110 to £54.99 at Banana Republic

There were lots of strapless and off the shoulder styles again on the catwalks which is very good news. Wear this one shoulder 100% silk piece with white trainers for an effortless cool. Great for pear shapes.

The Sleeve.

Fluted sleeve blouse down from £85 to £54.90 at Uterque.com

Fluted sleeve blouse down from £85 to £54.90 at Uterque.com

I know I’ve been harping on about them, but trust me sleeves are going to be a feature this year – unless of course you’re going strapless in which case their feature is being entirely absent. No-one said fashion wasn’t ridiculously complicated at times.

Underwear.

sale45wolford72

You see here’s the thing. Underwear isn’t a slave to trends and so I fail to see the point in paying full whack for it. For something so small and largely unseen, I figure you might as well wait for it to be reduced. But, I also think underwear should probably be thrown out more often. Having eaten myself up a whole cup size this Chrimbo, personally I have no choice, but I reckon if a bra works hard in its lifetime, then it should be offered early retirement.

Lecture over. Having applied these rules to my own shopping this week, I am now the proud owner of four new bras, a coat, some Anthroplogie hairbands and a packet of rhubarb and custard sweets. Clare on the other hand, who didn’t need anything, bought almost everything she tried on. Happy sale shopping everyone!

*This 5p charge for bags is pissing me off already.

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How Was it For You?

Where did that year go? Years never seem to drag anymore. I could do with a few really boring weeks that seem to go on forever with time to moan about there being nothing to watch on the telly, rather than wondering how I missed the first series of The Affair when the second is already imminent.

Off the shoulder dress £60 at ASOS

Off the shoulder dress £60 at ASOS

How was 2015 for you? I feel as if I didn’t do as much shopping as usual, except that my wardrobe is still bulging and I have a pile of H&M money off vouchers due to my regular deposits at their recycling bin so there must be new stuff somewhere. Sartorially speaking, I don’t think 2015 will go down as one of the best. Perhaps we can blame it on the peculiar weather, or maybe it’s the continued austerity. Either way it’ll be exciting to start afresh next year.

Here is what I will remember 2015 for:

  1. More celebrity fails than ever.

Call it attention seeking, call it running out of ideas but there were some very odd choices on the red carpet this year. I called Jennifer Lopez and Rihanna out on their gowns at the time but I think it’s worth another squizz. And then there’s Kim Kardashian who not only chose this dress as maternity wear but actually turned up to the Givenchy fashion show in it. Man Alive! Unflattering doesn’t even start to explain any of these frocks and it just goes to show that neither age nor money will protect you from looking like a loo roll holder or a giant lump of silly putty.

2. The trends that just didn’t take off…

Did you buy anything with tassels on? Are any of your clothes asymmetric or different lengths or a style hybrid? No, neither are mine. Designers and then the high street tried so hard to get us into these but it didn’t happen. The high street sales are now full of betwixt and between garments or those that feature fringing. Useful for costume parties at best, or perhaps for next year’s Strictly contestants. It’s probably too early to tell if capes didn’t make the grade this winter as we haven’t actually had this winter yet. And while Olivia Palermo looks great in her cape here, I can’t shake the worry that if you fall over in a cape with just your forearms stuck through the holes, you’ll be unable to get up, a bit like a weeble.

3. And those that did…

Shoulders were everywhere. Off the shoulder, one shoulder, cold shoulder; if you haven’t had at least one shoulder exposed in 2015, where has it been? The response to my blog on the subject confirmed that we all love our shoulders. More of the same in 2016 please. And if we’re revealing our shoulders then it seems we’re covering our knees. I agonised over these fabulous grey boots from & Other Stories because they were beyond my budget. And then ‘Stories’ introduced a recycling/money off scheme just like their sister brand H&M and I had those boots quicker than you can say Puss In.

4. Then this happened…

25 February 2015. Brit Awards 2015 with MasterCard at The O2 - Show Madonna Credit: JDavidson/GoffPhotos.com Ref: KGC-42 **No UK Sales**

Madonna and that cape

Madonna’s wardrobe malfunction at what should have been her triumphant return to the BRITS, resulted in a surge of support for the star on Twitter. #CapeFear pointed out that the Queen of Pop is 57 years old and despite her nasty backwards fall down steps, picked herself up and carried on with the show. You really can’t keep a good girl down. Perhaps this might prove to be the cape’s downfall. Although Please Note: Madonna looked nothing like a weeble during this performance.

It’s very nearly Christmas Eve and I still have wrapping to do, so all that remains for me to say is have a wonderful Christmas and thank you very much for following for another year.

Emily xx

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Christmas Presence All Wrapped Up

I don’t know about you but this year the earlier than ever onset of Christmas has completely thrown me. I was so busy thinking how ridiculous it was that John Lewis had forced their horribly depressing advert on us in November (for no good reason other than Hallowe’en being over) that I didn’t notice when December snuck up on us.

The oddly mild weather hasn’t helped. I knew my son needed a ‘Christmassy’ outfit for his after school club show, an ‘all white’ outfit for his nativity and a Christmas jumper for the last day of term but the school had their Christmas dinner so long ago now that I was starting to think about Easter. Luckily last week I found the Christmas jumper – stuffed away with the decorations – and he still fits in it so that’s one thing ticked off the list. One of the other mums came up with long johns as an alternative to white trousers for little boys in December. Just as I was imagining them all in a George Michael video, it came to pass that the white outfits were to represent sheep. Sheep apparently being what all 90 of them are going to be in this particular version of the nativity. Another tick.

So now finally, I am getting around to thinking of festive outfits for the girls – that’s us! It’s not cold at the moment but since the gripe I hear most often is that it’s hard to find dresses which cover your arms at this time of year, I’ve made sleeves the main criteria. And anyway everyone seems to be coughing and sneezing at the moment and without a sleeve where do you put your tissue? This festive season I’m concentrating on being grown up and covered up. No, no, really I am.

Before you think I’ve taken leave of my senses, I’ve looked around and I think this Christmas is arguably the best yet in terms of dressy wear for the style conscious who don’t have the time to exercise their upper arms into Twiglets. Besides which, we’re not four, we don’t turn up at a Christmas party and then run around until we’re purple and so hot we have to strip down to our vests. Well, OK, that might have happened the once.

So have a look at some of the gorgeous frocks on offer on the great British high street currently. There’s absolutely no scrimping on glamour or glitz here despite the coverage. Two sleeves, a back, a front and most importantly there’s no need for a strapless bra with any of these dresses. Hooraaay! I’ve even thrown in a neat little velvet jacket just in case.

If full on sequins aren’t your thing (you really should address that) then add a bit of wow with show stopping accessories; the Aldo bag and Banana Republic earrings are very Great Gatsby, I want them immediately. The Uterque shoes are a more reasonably priced take on some very unreasonably priced Dolce and Gabbana ones. I’m championing a vintage look this year as you can see. The sequin high neck styles by French Connection and Asos will be great for skinny minnies while the Zara scoop neck and J.Crew jumpsuit will be ultra flattering for more curvy shapes and both can be glammed up with a showpiece belt. Either way I’m going with midi dresses for their practicality on Christmas Day:

a) when you end up sitting on the floor unwrapping presents and drinking Bailey’s out of a pint glass and are unable to get back up.                                                                                              b) when you have to climb over or under the lunch table to get to your place on the opposite side in between a toddler and a deaf aunt neither of whom will budge.                    c) when you fall down the stairs as you do every single Christmas Day. Just me? OK then.

Wherever you put your sparkle this Christmas, have a very lovely one. Eat as much as you like, don’t wear a Christmas jumper in public if you’re over the age of 12 and don’t feel bad about not liking Christmas pudding, nobody does. It’s just there to create a drama halfway through Christmas dinner, you’re not actually supposed to eat it.

 

 

 

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Jay’s Jive and Other Scandals

Well, well, well, what a season it’s been already for this year’s Strictly Come Dancing. After the incredible showstopper that was ‘Jay’s Jive’ in week three, it seemed to be a foregone conclusion – I actually whooped and the boyfriend was on his feet. The judges were caught unawares and comments such as “Best Dance Ever” (Bruno) and “Never before have we seen such amazing technique on Strictly” (Craig) quickly followed. And yet, and yet (with the exception of Bruno) they saw fit to award Jay with mere 9s. “Because it’s week 3…” shouted Darcy, but because it’s week 3, what? How about “Because it’s The Best Dance We’ve Ever Seen, then surely it’s a 10?” It makes no sense any other way. I’m useless with numbers and even I can see that. So yes, we’re still smarting about this miscarriage of justice in SW19. Even the boyfriend, who tries really hard not to care about such things, now judges each and every dance with “It wasn’t as good as Jay’s Jive”.

Jay's Jive - just the one 10 FFS

Jay’s Jive – just the one 10 FFS

Of course, as you know, my fascination with this programme extends beyond the actual dancing. I am obsessed by the awfulness of Tess Daly and slightly in love with Claudia Winkleman. They both play into my hands, the former by dressing incomprehensibly badly and accessorising with the mannerisms of a brickie and the latter by styling herself really rather well and adding a heavy dose of irony to everything that comes out of her mouth. The silver Top Shop number was an uncharacteristic blip for our Claud’ so I’m going to brush over that particular week. But I’ve given it a lot of thought and have come to the conclusion that nobody in the world could have pulled that dress off, it was simply the wrong ratio of high neck/metallic/fake tan and I don’t object to any of those things per se.

Claudia Winkleman in not so great Top Shop

Claudia Winkleman in not so great Top Shop

Luckily for Claudia her sidekick Tess has a wardrobe of such catastrophic proportions that even if Claudia turned up in a tabard, she would eclipse Tess. Having said that, the weekly Tess Dress is great light relief for the moments of heavy drama – Jay’s Jive obviously, but what about Len’s sudden and ambiguous attack on professional dancer (the very delicious) Giovanni or Bruno’s use of the word bollocks before the watershed? I still haven’t established whether or not Tess Daly has a stylist but either way the decision to have Tess shove her head through one of those rubber things you stick to your kitchen wall to hang tea towels from*, was a stroke of comedy genius.

Tess Daly successfully negotiates her way through a tea towel holder

Tess Daly successfully negotiates her way through a tea towel holder

That was week one so I have been on tenterhooks each Saturday since to see what she would come up with next. But of course it hasn’t got any funnier than that so I’m going to do the decent thing and post a picture of the week they both looked fab.

Winkles in an Antonio Berardi jumpsuit and the Tess Dress

Winkles in an Antonio Berardi jumpsuit and the Tess Dress, complete with “Alright darlin'” actions

Although it’s easy to be distracted by Tess doing her impression of Bet Lynch propping up the bar as she sways in front of the judges’ desk, there have been some frocks to die for on the dance floor. The fairytale numbers worn repeatedly by Katie Derham are dreamy (but then I liked Lady Di’s wedding dress at the time) but we’re not allowed to say anything positive about Katie round our gaff because she says it all herself and we’ve taken against her due to the gurning.  So my prize so far, purely by virtue of being so uncharacteristically understated for Strictly, goes to the little playsuit worn by actress Helen George for her rumba. I’d wear that on Christmas Eve if I could.

scd7

Helen George wears Aljaz, ahem I mean a sparkly playsuit

Finally, I couldn’t let my annual rant about the best show on the box go without a mention of Jay’s Jive – oh, I’ve already done that have I? Well then in that case, let’s take a moment to consider the power of a haircut (as well as an extraordinarily sexy jive). When I was at school and the trend for long hair on boys started to appear, we always used to say that the only man who looked better with long hair was Michael Hutchence. I stand by that to this day. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury I give you Jay McGuiness when he started Strictly:

scd8

Oh dear Lord

And after he’d decided to cut his hair:

scd10

Much better

I rest my case.

Jay to win.

*According to Google this is known as a ‘push and grip’ holder.

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Shopping Research for my book!

I am getting ever closer to finishing my book. Please help me out by answering this one simple question here:

 

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Because You’re Hot Right Now

I have a friend, let’s call her Sarah (her full name of Sarah From The Pub is too much of a mouthful), who is off on a trip so full of promise and excitement that it is almost impossible to imagine how she might put together a wardrobe excellent enough to do it justice. There are several factors to consider: it will be the run up to the festive period, she will also be in South Africa but most importantly of all it is a rekindled romance (quite partial to those), for which everything must be perfect.  Continue reading

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For Your Eyes Only

I don’t remember a thing about the bond film For Your Eyes Only other than Sheena Easton sang the title tune and I was massively into her at the time. Actually, if I think about it I couldn’t really distinguish any Bond film from another other than knowing that Live and Let Die had Jane Seymour in it and she was kinda different as Bond girls go.

as Pussy Galore

Honor Blackman as Pussy Galore

Dress £45 at M&S

Dress £45 at M&S

We’re in the midst of Bond fever courtesy of the release of Spectre and Daniel Craig being everywhere doing his pouty thing – is that a joke by the way because he looks like he’s doing a selfie trout pout thing and isn’t that a bit daft? Anyway, to be clear, I haven’t yet seen the film, am not a Bond expert and have decided not to give this blog a punning title as “nobody apart from you finds punning titles funny” according to the boyfriend. (Actually, my sister finds puns funny too, so there.) So while it’s tempting to agonise over something more original than ‘Premium Bond’ or ‘Double Ohhh Seven’, this week sadly I don’t have the time as I’ve been distracted by several looming deadlines and the stupid ex landlord suggesting that “a light wipe over with a cloth” is tantamount to £700 worth of damage.

Dress £39.99 at H&M

Dress £39.99 at H&M

Berenice Marlohe as Severine

Berenice Marlohe as Severine

It’s always intriguing to see who is picked to be a Bond girl isn’t it? Whether it be the latest Oscar winner, the wife of a Beatle or a genuinely scary pop star, it is bound to be someone current and at the top of their game with everything to lose. Going back to Jane Seymour, she actually did alright after playing Solitaire didn’t she? She was Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman for an eternity – has anyone heard of Maryam D’Abo since she was in a Bond film? No, thought not.

Grace Jones as May Day

Grace Jones as May Day

Leather jacket £325 at Uterque.com

Leather jacket £325 at Uterque.com

If you want to be a Bond girl you must be blessed with an incredible body, this much we know, and it helps to have an ambiguous accent and a slightly mysterious, sultry look. Bond girls aren’t bubbly or like Baby Spice; Bond girls are hard to get and rather aloof by virtue of looking seriously good in skin tight clothes that still enable the wearer to perform gymnastics (bedroom or otherwise). You can be blonde to be a Bond girl (see Kim Basinger and Honor Blackman) but in that case you’d better be either slightly school ma’am-ish or well, you know, Kim Basinger. Who, by the way, is the only Bond Girl to win an Oscar after being a Bond girl. I’m guessing that fact, but I’m pretty sure it’s true.

Zip up top £125 at Karen Millen

Zip up top £125 at Karen Millen

Over the knee boots £180 at Kurt Geiger

Over the knee boots £180 at Kurt Geiger

Anyway, I love a Bond girl, even if I’m not overly bothered by the films because they are just so cartoonish as female characters go – usually a Daphne from Scooby Doo / Jessica Rabbit hybrid. But by giving them tongue in cheek, overtly sexual monikers, the Bond franchise gets away with not being terribly 2015 in terms of feminism and all that.

We can’t really complain, they are trying; we’ve had a female ‘M’ in the form of Dame Judi Dench (although they killed her off) and that’s pretty progressive as the Bond franchise goes. You know what would be really impressively modern and cutting edge? A Bond girl who looks really crap and uncomfortable in a bikini. Go on, Broccoli lot, I dare you…

Purse belt £95 at Whistles

Purse belt £95 at Whistles

 

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The Witching Hour

This year I have been invited to so many Hallowe’en themed events that I’m starting to get into a small panic about needing more than one outfit. To be clear, only one of these invitations is specifically aimed at me – inevitably that’ll be the one I can’t make it to – but as escort to a five year old in a glow in the dark H&M skeleton outfit, I don’t really have a choice about at least vaguely entering into the spirit of things.

As a child I adored Hallowe’en and Continue reading

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